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This blog, is what I am passionate about, where I can share with you. Reviews, tips, hints, real help if I can, where you can share what you are passionate about!

Monday, 17 May 2010

Life, Death, Breavement and how we deal with it!

Death is a part life.

 To some of us, we can't talk about it, it is almost a taboo subject.
It is the one certainty in life, we all share, in a very uncetain world; at some point we are going to die.

 STOP being morbid, some would say, others celebrate death as a new beginning.

Personally I accept death as part and parcel of life as we know it, regardless of beliefs.
Having lost a family member recently, it has been interesting observing as a writer, how others react to us as a family and deal with the loss themselves.
Being in a military family, we have lost friends in the war against terrorism. Suddenly losing a military friend hits us harder than losing an older member of the family whose death is expected due to illness.

We all grieve in different ways, but there are steps we all share and experience at some point. Usually the first is Denial, then there is Guilt, Anger, Acceptance but lastly as we move on but not forget, a time of forgiveness.We do not forget our loved nor our friends but we live our lives without the huge burden of pain than can overwhelme us, when first experiencing loss. Now we will not all experience all of these feeling in order. Sometimes we may even feel a combination of two or three together. Remember death is a part of life so we should all be comfortable talking about it.
Have you written your will? Most of us do not like to think about it, let alone do something constructive like a will and many will leave things very uncertain for the loved ones they leave behind.
On recent experience, it shows you need to talk about it. What are you going to wear? Sounds daft I know but it does matter to your relatives later. My husband joked, he would like to see the undertaker dress him in a full length winter wetsuit and booties! The mind boggles at the thought! I thought of one of my ball gowns and full make up,going out in style!

If being cremated, as the majority of us are these days unless you have the family burial plot, Where do you want your ashes to go?
In an urn on the mantlpiece, scattered to the wind over your favourite place. Just make sure whoever is doing the scattering, they know to place themselves upwind!! Otherwise not nice!
I heard of what seemed a beautiful way to me, to be placed in tubes along the sea bed to become part of living coral. There would be a small plaque on the outside, so relatives could dive to visit you. Not heard that it has reached the UK as yet but who knows, sounds good to me.
Above all, don't be afraid to talk about death, dying and the arrangements you would like, there no complaining about it after your gone!!

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