This blog has been quiet since May with good reason.
I had a severe case of writers block, some will say no such thing, some will say distract yourself and the ideas will flow. Unfortunately I have had too much distraction. As a writer nobody could have prepared me for mind numbing feeling that comes from breavement. Sadly this past year we have been affected by too many, some of them friends and servicemen but since May my husband's parents passed away within 24 days of each other. Since then three more, lifelong family friends and sadly another serviceman.
Nothing can prepare you for how death in a family effects you, we are all different, to me as a writer my voice in my head might as well died with them. I thought it temporary and it was in the scheme of things 3 months is temporary. It was going from a head that woke each day bursting with new ideas, not always good ones but always something buzzing in my head to silence. It felt a deadly silence!!
At first I described it as a head full of cotton wool, it was as if my head was at saturation with everything else going on, helping to organise funerals, managing our grief we were a team, my husband and I but many expected us to support them in thier grief too.
They describe it was one of the most stressful things we as humans go through, up there with moving house and divorce. Believe me I have been through divorce ( twice and both painful) and house moves too many to mention, price of being married to the service life. Breavement of this magitude makes the previous experiences seem like a walk in the park and believe me; neither was ever a breeze.
On bad days I thought I would never write again but every now and again I would get a glimmer of an idea, it would never last long. I truly thought I would have to job hunt again and go back to stress mill of sales again.
Well slap me down for such lack of faith in myself, I just needed to give myself time, be kind to myself. So if you are ever affected by writers block, don't ignore it, maybe it is your brain just looking for a rest, maybe you are just a little overloaded.
My advice, step back, listen to yourself, if you truly can't hear anything, then do something else for me recently it has been baking. I started on Sunday and today baked some more, bread of all things maybe kneading the dough was therapy for the brain but at least it allowed me to sit and write this blog.